Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Astronomers are stunned after the quiet development of the largest telescope ever built in China. - Farmingdale Observer

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Aurora borealis lights up northern Nevada, Carson City skies - Carson Now

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Tour players, a 17-year-old and a dentist among those who qualify for U.S. Open on Golf's Longest Day - NBC Sports

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can count

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

J.K. Rowling said that 65% of people in Britain are transgender. Where did she come up with that statistic?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Is Florida now unsurvivable because it's an oven due to climate change? It's 11:48 am on May 30th and the heat index in SoFla is 100. I can see it going up to over 130 by July.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

More seniors are using cannabis than ever before despite health risks, research shows - Fox News

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Are there any political parties or groups that have a mix of conservative and liberal beliefs? Why are they not as prominent in the media?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

IndiGo, Delta, Air France-KLM, Virgin Atlantic Announce Partnership - Airways Magazine

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Do countries with free health care generally have co-pays or deductibles to discourage use?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Airlines and planemakers warn that credit card legislation could end frequent-flier rewards - Business Insider

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Ukraine attacks Russian aircraft in far-reaching drone strikes - The Washington Post

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for fakery

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee